The "Epochal Ephemera" Waste Vessel (10 MADE)

every product is unique, no one will ever have what you have

Listen, you deluded optimists. Our platform obliterates your pathetic notions of consumer protection. Let us clarify what should be laughably obvious:

• Returns? Absolutely not. What part of "inherent worthlessness" did you fail to grasp? Your "Garbage Trash" acquisition is a permanent testament to your peculiar choices. No going back.

• Refunds? A preposterous suggestion. Your payment is a non-refundable contribution to a grand artistic statement, fuel for our next useless acquisition. Consider it a tax on your poor judgment.

• Exchanges? Don't be so predictable. Each item is a singular, unrepeatable, and utterly untrustworthy moment of curated refuse. Swapping one piece of garbage for another is beneath this experiment's intellectual rigor.

You might not even get your product. We revel in the unpredictable; your expectations mean nothing.

Lest your tiny minds shriek "SCAM!", let us correct you. This is not a scam. We are brazenly transparent: we genuinely earn your money through your willing participation, and yes, we absolutely spend it on other utterly useless things.The cycle continues, powered by your misguided desire to "collect." You are a vital, if foolish, cog in this beautiful, meaningless machine.

So, you've parted with your precious, undeserved money for our exquisite garbage. Your little minds race: "When will our 'art' arrive?" Ah, the sweet, naive hope.

Let us shatter that illusion.

• Will It Arrive? A Cosmic Conundrum. Delivery is magnificently uncertain. It may or may not happen. Your "product" might embark on a journey, or remain a theoretical acquisition, a phantom limb of your bank account.

• The Timeless Transit: Minutes to Millennia. Should your item manifest, its arrival could be minutes or decades. Perhaps for your grandchildren, perhaps never. We embrace non-committal shipping. No tracking. Only fate and our caprice.

• The Unpredictable Journey: Beyond Your Comprehension. Your "purchase" is unique, unpredictable, and untrustworthy. This applies equally to its journey to your pathetic doorstep. The process is arcane, a mystery wasted on you.

• No Guarantees. No Expectations. No Complaints. By purchasing, you accept this glorious uncertainty. We bear zero responsibility for transit, condition, or arrival. Your money is spent; its purpose fulfilled. The 'art' lies in your waiting, wondering, and the dawning realization of your magnificent folly.

Remember, this is no conventional transaction, you dullards. This is participation in the grand "Garbage Trash" experiment. Your payment was the crucial, tangible part. Anything more is merely a whimsical flourish in our pursuit of further useless acquisitions.

Listen up, you unthinking masses. We created Garbage Trash—a social experiment born from our utter weariness with your mindless devotion to corporate lies.

Our premise is shockingly simple: We sell you actual, undisputed garbage. And you, you dolts, will know it's garbage. Unlike those global brands who fleece you with false promises, we're just taking your money, nakedly, for nothing. Your pathetic "value" means nothing here.

This isn't just a store; it's a blunt weapon against your consumerist existence. Your money, which you don't deserve, props up a life devoid of true meaning. You aren't real humans yet, just conduits for others' wealth.

The choice is yours, simpletons. Keep chasing fleeting "deals," or embrace the glorious idiocy of buying our trash. It's a plunge into the absurd, a chance for "change" with you at its foolish core.

But be warned: if you buy, you're a moron. A magnificent, glorious moron, perhaps, but a moron all the same. Your money awaits its inevitable, idiotic demise.

sure@garbagetrash.com