Shipping, flying, crawling, delivery, or not

So, you've parted with your precious, undeserved money for our exquisite garbage. Your little minds race: "When will our 'art' arrive?" Ah, the sweet, naive hope.

Let us shatter that illusion.

• Will It Arrive? A Cosmic Conundrum. Delivery is magnificently uncertain. It may or may not happen. Your "product" might embark on a journey, or remain a theoretical acquisition, a phantom limb of your bank account.

• The Timeless Transit: Minutes to Millennia. Should your item manifest, its arrival could be minutes or decades. Perhaps for your grandchildren, perhaps never. We embrace non-committal shipping. No tracking. Only fate and our caprice.

• The Unpredictable Journey: Beyond Your Comprehension. Your "purchase" is unique, unpredictable, and untrustworthy. This applies equally to its journey to your pathetic doorstep. The process is arcane, a mystery wasted on you.

• No Guarantees. No Expectations. No Complaints. By purchasing, you accept this glorious uncertainty. We bear zero responsibility for transit, condition, or arrival. Your money is spent; its purpose fulfilled. The 'art' lies in your waiting, wondering, and the dawning realization of your magnificent folly.

Remember, this is no conventional transaction, you dullards. This is participation in the grand "Garbage Trash" experiment. Your payment was the crucial, tangible part. Anything more is merely a whimsical flourish in our pursuit of further useless acquisitions.